The moment we decided to let love in
by YoureNotDoneFighting
Summary: Oliver and Felicity have been dancing around their feelings for each other for months. It takes almost losing her to someone else for Oliver to realize how much he needs her by his side in Starling City.


**Author's Note: I wrote this piece back in January, but I'm just now getting up the nerve to actually publish it. It takes place shortly after "Blast Radius," episode 02x10. I've taken some creative liberties, so it's a bit off cannon.**

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Two months had passed since the near-disaster at Sebastian Blood's Unity Rally, and though they'd put Shrapnel away for his crimes, Oliver still had no new developments on the man in the skull mask, or anything at all related to Mirakuru. Since defeating Cyrus Gold in the weeks prior to the rally, Brother Blood, as he would come to be known, had all but disappeared.

Oliver and Diggle spent most nights patrolling the streets of Starling City in hopes that someone, somewhere would know something, but so far they'd come up empty. And Felicity, much to Oliver's vexation, continued splitting her time with he and Diggle in Starling City, and with Barry in Central City, after he'd awoken from his coma shortly after the Unity Rally.

After a particularly uneventful evening on patrol, Oliver sent Diggle home early and headed back to the Foundry to let off some of his frustrations on the salmon ladder. He made his way down the stairs, and a small smile crossed his lips at the sound of Felicity typing away on her computers.

"Oliver," Felicity said, turning her chair to face the glass case where he stopped to hang his bow and quiver before pulling the leather gloves from his fingers. "Hey.. I didn't think you'd be back tonight."

He lifted his head at the unnaturally high sound of her voice. When he turned to study her expression he realized that she seemed nervous. He couldn't remember the last time, outside of working an op in the field, that Felicity acted nervous in front of him. Awkward, sure. Nervous, almost never. "You all right?" he asked, as removed the his mask and turned back away from her to place it inside its case. That damn mask - Aside from the custom bow Felicity had made while he was back on Lian Yu, It was probably the most effective addition to his Arrow gear, which irritated Oliver, considering he was still trying very hard not to like Barry Allen.

Oliver was lost in his own thoughts when she answered his question, which is why he was certain he'd misheard the words that spilled from her mouth. He froze in place, and his breath caught in his throat. He could feel Felicity's eyes boring into his back as her words washed over him, and he was immediately thankful she couldn't see the expression that played on his face in that moment. The green leather of his Arrow suit suddenly felt too tight, and he pressed the palms of his hands against the cool metal of the table in the front of him for balance before clearing his throat. "He asked you to what?"

Felicity noticed the muscles in his neck tense, and she willed him to turn and face her. When he didn't, she responded tentatively, "He asked me to move to Central City."

After another moment, Oliver turned and leaned back against the table, giving Felicity an unreadable expression. "I didn't realize your relationship with Barry was that serious," he said evenly.

"It's not. I mean, it is. Or, it could be, maybe, if we ever spent more than a day or two together at a time," she said shaking her head and gesturing around the Foundry. "You know what I mean. What we do makes it sort of hard to keep an active social calendar."

"Do you want to move to Central City," Oliver asked, tilting his head down slightly to catch her gaze.

Felicity sighed and fussed with the hem of her violet cardigan. She was afraid to look up at him, sure that if she did her eyes would give away how badly she wanted him to ask her to stay. "I've considered it, sure. I mean, it would probably be really great – because Barry is really great – but I've been trying to think of ways for me to be there and be here, and besides the fact that it's a really long commute, you don't exactly have a plethora of IT experts on hand to help you and Diggle catch the bad guys."

Oliver opened his mouth to speak, but she waved him off and continued," Not that you need me, per say. I just mean that it's probably really helpful having me, er..someone, here to.."

"Felicity," Oliver said, trying to gain her attention. He waited a few seconds, and when she kept rambling he moved forward, closing the gap between his spot at the table and where she sat at her computer. He put his hand on her shoulder, a gesture he intended to be comforting, though he wasn't entirely sure it wasn't just because in that moment he wanted -no, needed - to touch her.

"Felicity," he said again in that low, soft voice that always made her stomach tumble inside of itself. She smiled slightly and relaxed under the warmth of his hand.

"You should go," he said quietly, not taking his eyes from hers. "You should go and be with Barry."

Confusion and something Oliver couldn't quite distinguish – rejection, maybe? – washed over Felicity's face. She sat back in her chair, causing his grasp on her shoulder to slip. He palm immediately felt a little too empty, and cold.

"You.. you want me to go? What about the mission? What about Digg?" She hesitated, looking down at her hands before continuing, "What about you?"

"Of course I don't want you to go," Oliver said, willing his reserve to remain intact. It would be far too easy to tell her exactly why she shouldn't go so he chose his next words carefully, "But just because I've chosen this life, this mission, doesn't mean you have to do the same," He'd decided long ago that what he felt for Felicity had to remain locked away. Working with him already put her in harm's way more times than he'd care to admit.

Pushing her away, pushing her toward Barry, felt like a punch to his gut, but he had to do it. He knew he couldn't ask her to stay here with him when she could have a man who would give her everything he couldn't. "The work you do here with Diggle and me is invaluable. YOU are invaluable. But you deserve to be happy, Felicity."

She stared up at him through her glasses, unblinking, head tilted slightly, as if she was deciding whether or not to believe him. Finally Felicity stood up, not caring that, as usual, Oliver was invading her personal space. The toes of her shoes nearly touched the toes of his leather boots. When she looked up only a few inches separated their faces, but she didn't back away from him. She never did.

"No. I don't buy it," she said, deciding that he was full of shit. "Two months ago you stood in this very spot and told me that you needed me here, that I was your partner. Now you're telling me I should leave Starling City? I know you, Oliver, and I know my happiness was no less important to you then than it is now, so what's changed?"

Oliver was used to Felicity challenging him, but this time he was at a loss for words. He thought back to that day, eight weeks ago, when he finally realized how much he needed Felicity Smoak in his world. He'd projected the blame onto her when Shrapnel got away for the second time, and it was Diggle's words immediately following their confrontation that forced him to face the reasons why.

_"I think you didn't have a problem with Felicity's performance until she met Barry Allen," Digg had said to him before following Felicity from the Foundry._

Oliver played those words over in his head, trying to deny their truth, but he knew his friend was right. It wasn't just the prospect of Felicity wanting Barry Allen, but also the reality that she may not always be by his side. When he brought her into the fray he thought he'd gained a woman whose advanced computer skills would help him in his mission. What he didn't expect was for Felicity Smoak to charge in with her adorable, awkward babbling, fuchsia lips and unbreakable faith in him. She was one of the only people who had ever called him out on all his bullshit and still remained by his side. She stood up for herself and for what she believed was right and good. She was remarkable, so remarkable that her brief absence left a dull ache in Oliver's chest.

Felicity snapped her fingers in front of Oliver's face, bringing him out of his reverie. "Earth to Oliver Queen!"

_"How the hell has she always been able to see straight through me," _he thought_. "And why is it one of the things I love most about her?" _His blue eyes flickered to her mouth, and he considered what the fallout if he were to just kiss her.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Felicity waited for his response. She truly hadn't known what her decision would be, but in that moment she saw something in his eyes that told her she couldn't leave. Something important was about to happen. Something had shifted between them, and she decided. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't stay here just for me," Oliver said, steeling his resolve once more.

"Damnit, Oliver!" she cried, slamming her hand down onto the computer desk. Oliver, startled at her outburst, took a step back. "You cannot actually think that I would be happy if I left Starling. And save your speech about the life you lead, blah blah blah."

Oliver's mouth gaped open in amazement at the ferocity in Felicity's voice. This is one ramble he wouldn't be able to stop even if he'd wanted to.

"You've been with damaged woman after damaged woman, and I know it's because you think you're too damaged, yourself, to be with someone.." she stopped short, sure that if she continued she would reveal all of the things she felt but could never say; all of the things she felt but forced herself to push down because she knew he wouldn't let himself feel the same way.

"Someone like you." Oliver offered as more of a statement than a question. The words tumbled from his mouth before he could stop them.

_Shit. Shit shit,_ he thought.

Felicity's voice caught in her throat, and she gripped the edge of the desk to steady herself. "Wha..What?"

Oliver furrowed his eyebrows, realizing that she still couldn't see how much she meant to him. "I used to love so easily that it was borderline reckless. Except I was too selfish to understand what it meant to really love someone. It became an easy weakness for others to exploit," he said, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. "And because of that, almost everyone I care about has been hurt in some way.. or killed."

He closed his eyes briefly and thought about how Shado and Tommy had died, about the countless times Laurel, Thea and even Felicity have been in danger, and about how Sara was irrevocably changed - all because of him. "Every single day I think about how I'm responsible for the bad things that have happened to everyone I get close to, and I can't forgive myself for not being able to protect them."

Oliver linked his fingers through Felicity's, pulling her hand to his chest. She could feel his heavy heartbeat through the leather of his jacket, and her own heart was beating so hard that she thought she might pass out.

"It's a constant reminder of why I'm doing this. I survive and I press on, not only because Starling City needs The Arrow, but because I owe it to all of them to be something better than I was," he said, squeezing her hand into his. "But with you.."

Oliver stopped and shut his eyes tight again, trying to find his voice. When he heard his name, barely a whisper on her lips, he knew he couldn't turn back now.

"I've already taken enough chances with you. You've already been hurt too much. If something happened to you, if I lost you," his eyes searched hers, willing her to understand. "If I lost you that would be it for me, Felicity."

His admission was supposed to make her understand that moving to Central City, away from The Arrow, would keep her safe. He definitely hadn't meant for it to be a reason for her to stay, but that's exactly what it had become.

Before Oliver realized what was happening, Felicity's body was pressed against him, her hands twisted in the material of the shirt he wore under the green leather jacket, and her lips found his in a kiss so urgent it nearly knocked him backwards. For a split second Oliver considered pulling away, considered stopping the kiss while he was still able to think clearly. But then, with her warm body pressed to his chest, her fingers trailing along the scruff on his jawline, her lips on his lips, he couldn't remember why he hadn't kissed her sooner.

Felicity pulled away first, her eyes brighter than Oliver had seen them in a long, long while. They stood with their foreheads touching for a few moments as they caught their breath. Felicity suddenly realized that the front of Oliver's grey T-Shirt was still clutched in her fist and decided to make a show of smoothing the soft fabric back down over his muscular chest and stomach. And then something amazing happened, Oliver laughed the most whole-hearted, genuine laugh Felicity had ever heard. It was the kind of laugh that filled her until she couldn't help but laugh herself.

"Oliver, you are just as much a part of me as I am a part of you." Felicity said, with more love and adoration in her voice than Oliver had ever heard. She wrapped her arms under the edges of his jacket and around his waist. "I'm a part of this team, and you need me."

The double meaning of her words was not lost on Oliver, and of course she was right. Again. He did need her. He tucked a lose strand of blonde hair behind her ear and cradled her face in his hands. "Felicity?"

"Mmm?" she murmured softly, eyes closed, reveling in his touch.

"Stay."


End file.
